paidion (pī-dē'-on)

"but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”" - Matthew 19:14

Recently, I have begun one of the greatest and most fulfilling experiences of my life: teaching. 

I cannot express how amazing to feels to be doing something I feel like I was made to do. I teach math at one of the most interesting high schools. 70-80% of my students come from families considered "economically disadvantaged", but you probably wouldn't guess that by looking at a lot of them. I constantly learn more about my kids that both shocks me as it breaks my heart but then really isn't all that surprising either. Sometimes my days are stressful, sometimes exciting, sometimes crazy, sometimes winning, sometimes losing; but here is the thing:

I love it and I am so happy.

I remember hearing a beautiful woman named Heidi Baker giving a sermon talking about how missionaries get "rewarded for how miserable they are" and I feel like a lot of time that can be true for anyone who works in public service of any kind. But Mrs. Heidi Baker lives in this place now of such joy and true happiness because she lives in the palm of the Lord.

I can sit here and list all the crazy times I've had, explain in painstaking detail how insane my kids can be, break your heart with stories of how disadvantaged my kids are and convince you of how much more I think they deserve. I can post statuses about the beautiful moments and tell you how they make it all worth it. You can tell me I'm doing such a needed service and secretly admire my so-called sacrifice. 

But in reality, you should know my secret. It's not that hard. I'm happy.

It's a weird feeling being this happy with my life. I'm not sure what that says about previous years of my life, but nothing I have done compares to the days I am currently living. The goodness of the Lord and his faithfulness, wisdom, and peace are so abundant in my life.

I don't say any of this to discount the hardships of any teachers. I believe there are many incredible teachers who were made to be teachers and still face terrible difficulties. 

Somehow I have walked into this place of such grace and perfection of leading that everything just flows and makes sense.

The title of my blog is "a different worship" and this post is "paidion" (Greek for children). It's interesting to see how worship has been so intertwined with children in my life. I have always had a heart to come to God like a child and working with my beautiful teenager, my perspective has changed again.

I called my teenagers kids a lot because they are. A lot of them are so broken, under-loved, and under-taught that they function as children. When they need attention, you know. When they need food, you know. When they've done something stupid, you know. When they need a nap, you know. My kids are honest. They are real. They may lack some tack sometimes, but if you simply ask, they will usually tell you the depths of their hearts.

This is why I love my school. Because I love to ask.

It reminds me how much God loves to ask and how much He cares. It reminds me to be like my wonderful children and just tell Him the whole load of it.

As to some up this post and my life: 

It is good. God is good. I am happy.

Some of my students' "algebra". They called the "DJ Method".
It has yet to be  proven accurate by the math community.